By Clifton Barnes
Like other children in Guatemala, they may have lived in a hut made of cardboard boxes or sheets of tin with no electricity and running water. They wouldn't know their father, and their mother would be raising her other children, perhaps leaving them without adult supervision as she tried to earn money. Or they may have ended up in the streets or in a rundown orphanage.
Luckily for two Guatemalan children, bankruptcy attorney Tom Waldrep and his wife, Ellen, went through the costly and otherwise sacrificial steps necessary to adopt them and bring them to Winston-Salem.
"I truly believe that when a child is adopted from Guatemala, the parents are literally saving that child's llife and giving them a chance for a future," said Lisa Piratzky, who is a local coordinator for a fellowship and adoption support group known as Circle of Friends for Guatemala. "The mortality rate for children under 5 is very high due to the poverty-stricken conditions in which they live, if you can call it a life."
But, in many ways, Waldrep, a board member of the North Carolina Bar Association, looks at it selfishly: "I've found that when you volunteer for something - whether it be working at a homeless shelter, serving the legal profession and public through the North Carolina Bar Association or adopting a child - you get out of it a lot more than you put into it."
The Waldreps are putting a lot into it as they are raising five "natural" children - Kerry, 22; Mimi, 14; Brian, 11; Megan Eileen, 9; and Matthew, 6; and now two adopted children - Catherine Rebecca, 21 months, and Michael Francisco, 11 months.
"We obviously love kids and we waned more kids," Waldrep said. "We had already contributed to the gene pool five times. Plus, there are religious reasons why we were interested in adoption."
Devout Catholics, the Waldreps point to several related passages in the Bible including one form the Book of Luke which reads, "Jesus realized the intentions of their hearts and took a child and placed it by His side and said to them, 'Whomever receives this child in my name receives me, and whomever receives me receives the One who sent me.'"
Still it took a family meeting where everyone had a say about whether or not to go forward with the adoptions. It was a unanimous decision - from Kerry, a senior at Georgetown University who championed the idea a couple of years earlier after volunteering in a Bolivian orphanage, to Matthew, the youngest who simply wanted a little brother.
"It was there that I first saw how many children need homes, and how easily it seemed to me that our family could adopt," Kerry said of her time in Bolivia. "I was thrilled when my parents told me that they planned to adopt. I think that my family is luckyk to have such a loving home - the more family we have to share in the love, the better and stronger our family becomes."
For several years, the entire family volunteered as they hosted children from Belfast as part of a summer program for Protestant and Catholic children, 9-11 years old, from Northern Ireland that was designed to help them learn about each other in peace.
"That program enriched our family," Waldrep said. "It was a positive experience for us. It was a natural progression from us hosting children to adopting."
Once their youngest child entered school, "we thought it's now or never," he said. Although he and Ellen both agree that it's not too late "even if you are older."
However their age, each 44, did prove a hindrance for most U.S. adoption agencies. Plus, nearly all children in the U.S., regardless of race, will eventually get adopted and that's not the case in other countries.
They decided against getting children from Russia because the fetal alcohol syndrome rate is high. And they decided against getting children from China because you can't get a boy from there, and they wanted a boy and a girl.
They decided on Guatemala, and went through Carolina Adoption Services. The main reason women give up children in Guatemala is the poverty. "However, there are strong family ties there and they tend to treat their children well," Waldrep said.
Paperwork generally takes six months in the U.S. and another six months in Guatemala. The government there has to approve the woman giving up theh child. There are also anti-adoption groups there that fight foreign adoptions, Waldrep said. "They spread rumors that the children become slaves or they are used for their organs," he said.
Their first trip down to Guatemala in January 2001 was both frustrating and gratifying. Tom and Ellen were expecting to bring back a boy and a girl but the boy's mother, at the last minute, wanted the son back.
After an experience with the court system there that made him even prouder of the American justice system, the judge ruled that the Waldreps could take the child. But there was an appeal.
(Article continued above.)
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